A Tribute to My Dad

My gorgeous parents.

“He was not being courageous as he bore the freezing stream for his wife and children. He simply chose between the lesser of two evils—the pain and suffering he would endure in the river, a physical pain that he could stand to bear, or the pain and suffering he would feel if he had to watch his family wade across and freeze. It was not a decision. The choice had already been made the moment Ole proposed marriage to his wife and welcomed these beautiful daughters into the world.” 
- Sage Steadman, Upon Destiny's Song 

My parents make a good team, partially because they are different in their outlooks and in their gifts to us.

Mom focused on building my inner strength - she was the strongest advocate for living a prayerful and spiritual life, living with love and detachment, realizing my own capacities, and encouraging potentialities into realities.

Dad focused on the outer life, the challenges of living with integrity in a difficult world, understanding different viewpoints, and our place in this world at large.

When we think of people living in the real world, we think of skepticism and practicalities. What I really admire about my dad though, is that though he is aware of the world around us, he finds real ways of bringing theoretical morality into practice. These range from the little acts of charity that he does with such silence (sometimes even I find out only by accident), to a trust fund he set up with his alma mater.

More than that, my Dad taught me to value myself - to judge myself against my own standards, and not that of the people around me. He taught me to live with integrity, and not be pussied into being a people pleaser. He also taught me to stand up for myself - I would say a large part of my sense of justice, for myself and for others, is derived from my dad. I do recall that defining moment, as a shy, misunderstood 14 year old going through teenage teething troubles, when dad sat me down and told me it didn't matter what other people think, I must not compromise my sense of self. He taught me to straddle the heaven of noble ideals with the earth of this physical world.

“...alas, raising a young lady is a mystery even beyond an enchanter's skill.”  
- Lloyd Alexander

Those were powerful lessons I learnt from Dad, ones that have stuck by me and contribute strongly to who I am today, especially in a time when women are undervalued and under-appreciated. He has also set the bar high for my husband, whom I proudly say, steps up to it with chivalry. Well done husband! And, I love you, Dad.